Arsenal’s Diamond Eye, Sean Dyche’s protein fix, and requiem for Ronaldinho (and Phil Brown)

Gratuitous backheels, Alexis’ arboreal artistry, and the remarkably unremarkable Ashley Barnes

Carlos the magician, the Phil Neville farrago, and Pep v Warnock at last

FA cup levellers, Jurgen and Dave’s wild night out, and Middelfart memories

Swoops, swaps and resurgent Swans

Karma, mystery tours and the Lepers v the Scoundrels

Conte on the rocks, cucumbers, and an ox on the brink of extinction

The Mousa Dembélé appreciation society and Jesé’s hot breath on Charlie Adam’s neck

Hard hands, Pards goes deep and Old Trafford worms

Rifts, replays and robbery