BONUS: 'Roma Nel Mito'

Karma, perfection and a commemorative gold pen

The secret of success, John Betjeman and Girls Aloud

Pressed plants, Danny Dyer and striped snakeheads

Wenger (over and) Out

Sleeping with one eye open and the Proudsville sausage

Dangerous margins and culinary napalm

Good eggs, girth and brains

Fundamental shifts and problematic number twos

The soft middle and the flabby bottom