In the early 70s a drugged-out seventeen-year-old named Doug, along with his secretly gay, openly black, best friend, decides to hitchhike across the country in search of a mythical Utopia. They meet Bologna Jane & Tina the Monkey Girl, Big Arm and Nigga Dog. They almost die along the way. Doug hooks up with his brother and friends on converted school bus. They harvest huge bags of really weak marijuana, thanks to a couple of Redneck Hippies, and try to sell it. Along the way, Doug winds up getting his ribs and heart broken.

Sick of hitchhiking and hunger, Doug decides it is time to get rich. He gets sucked into the inside world of the famous Glenn W. Turner and his get-rich-quick scheme: Koscot Interplanetary, Incorporated. Doug cuts his hair, buys a suite and tie, and along with a bunch of Disney World rejects, spends his days trying to convince strangers to give him a $5000 so he can make them rich. Then he changes into his real clothes and spends his nights begging strangers to give him a buck so he can eat.

His failure to become a good salesman or panhandler leads him to a group of friendly Satan-worshiping heroin addicts who believe that in the end of time, Jesus will forgive Satan, who will then resume his place as the greatest Angel in all of Heaven.

This is a completely true story. Proof exists in the form of letters, interviews, memorabilia and historical evidence. Besides, nobody could make this up.

Doug Shear

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