David Almond

Ernie just winked at them.

How would you like

And just think about the stink!

What if your Uncle Ernie’s machines grew so big that they took over every room

Would you like that? Would you heck!

Now he sighed and grunted and cursed and spat.

What you doing, Ernie?”

What you doing, Uncle Ernie?

There’s a long way to go,” said Ernie, “but it absolutely positively definitely works.”

The next morning at six o’clock, the alarm clock would ring.

RING-A-DING-A-DING-A-DING-A-DING-A-DING!!!!

And straight away a hooter hooted:

NEE-NAW-NEE-NAW-NEE-NAW-NEE-NAW!!!!

And straight away a record played:

WAKEY-WAKEY!!!! WAKEY-WAKEY!!!!

And straight away Ernie yelled:

“UP! COME ON, YOU LOT! UP! SIX O’CLOCK AND TIME TO START! GET TO WORK!”