Rollercoasterwords

“I couldn’t understand it—why I’d look at her and just feel right. Like I was at home. It drove me mental, sometimes.

“Something’s got to give. And I’m mental about you.”

Remus blushed and looked away, mumbling at his shoes,

but Sirius was too tired to listen, too preoccupied with the comforting heat of the body next to him.

Home, he thought, drifting off to sleep, I’m so happy to be home…

“James…” he croaked, desperately. Anything but this, he thought, Anything but him. Please, please, please.

“Sirius??”

“James?!”

“Sirius!”

They collided, arms and legs and hands, gripping each other so tightly that Sirius thought he might bruise.

“I lost you.” Remus croaked, voice scraping out of his throat.

“I’m sorry,” Sirius said. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.

“I’m going anyway. They might still need help.”

He began to move—but Remus was there, yanking him back, using what felt like all of his strength to hold him place.

“Don’t. You. Dare.”

“Plenty of school kids on their side too, from what I hear.” Amos replied, “Plenty of Blacks, too.”

It shouldn’t have hurt. It really, really shouldn’t have hurt.

“I didn’t do anything,” Remus was speaking quickly, “I just…I couldn’t move. I couldn’t think.”

“Remus…” James’s voice; warm and steady and kind. “Nobody could. It was horrible; it’s the scariest thing that ever happened.” There was a pause, then, “None of us knew what to do.”

I need to tell you about Remus, that he’s too good for me, that he somehow wants me anyway. I need to tell you how it scares me, the way I need him—how I didn’t even know it was possible to need someone this way