Yes. You’ve backed yourself into a corner and made yourself choose between black or white. Whether to see a person or not, whether to be best friends with them or never speak to them again. You either lash out or endure. The only choices you have are yes and no, and there is no middle ground. I think with this friend, you thought you had a ‘special friendship’, which was why you tried to endure and continue. And you got exhausted at keeping up this ruse.