Addicted to You

wrap my arms around her, hugging for a long, long time. To say thanks, I’m sorry, and “I love you,” I whisper.
She strokes my hair. “I love you too.”

and I agreed to keep my addiction quiet from our parents and sisters. It’s not something that people can easily accept or understand, and I don’t want to spend my days justifying these compulsions. If Rose also thinks it’s for the best, then I must be making a sound decision.

“You’re going to rehab,” I say assuredly, even though a pain weighs on my chest. I know this is the right thing. For both of us.
“I can’t leave you.” He drops his hand. “It could be months, Lily. I don’t want you with another guy…”
“I’m going to be strong,” I tell him, taking his hands in mine. I squeeze. “I’m going to go to therapy.”
“Lily…” His pained voice sends daggers to my heart.
“I’m going to move in with Rose.”

love you, but I want to love you enough that I never choose alcohol over you. Not even for a moment. I want to be someone you deserve. Who helps you rather than enables you, and I can’t begin to do that until I get help for myself.”

should have been there. I should have stopped the guy. I should have held you in my arms and told you that everything is going to be okay even if it wasn’t. That was my job, no one else’s.”

re forgetting that I know all the tricks, Lil. How many times have you repeated those words to yourself, hoping they’d come true? I do the same thing to justify every shitty night.” He scoots forward and I’ve petrified, going still as a piece of wood. His fingers graze my bare kneecap and his face cracks like it’s painful to touch me. “But I don’t want any more bad nights with you.”

escapes and he says, “Because I can. Because when I was eleven-years-old and tasted my first drop of whiskey, I thought it’d bring me closer to my father. Because I felt empowered.” He touches his chest. “Because I never hit anyone. I never drove. I never lost a fucking job or lost any friends that mattered. Because whenever I drank, I didn’t think I was hurting anyone but me.”

wouldn’t know them,” I say.
He looks offended. For real? “I know everyone.”
I open my mouth, at a loss of how to reply to that.
Rose snorts. “You’re always the same, Connor, raising yourself on some prodigious level. I bet your biggest dream is to kiss the ass of Bill Gates.”

“What is Richard doing here?” she hisses.
“He just showed up.” I hand her a steaming mug and put a hand on her back, guiding her to the living room.
Lo flashes her a dry smile. “Does that remind you of someone?”

Yep. Let’s see what we have here. Net worth of maybe”—he scans the mansion behind me—“twenty-five million combined.” He points to Lo and me. “Calloway and Hale. That’s every fucking soda can in your house and all your little nephews and nieces’ diapers. Billions. So yeah, I’m going to side with the two people that make your inheritances look like chump change.”