That was the thing about violence. When you went looking for it you definitely were going to find it. It just wouldn’t be at a time of your own choosing. It jumped up and splattered your nice new boots before you were really ready. The thing is, if you chase it long enough, you realize you’re never really ready for it. Shit happens and you either roll with it or you don’t. Eventually you got used to it. When he was a kid he liked to think that made you hard. He hit the barrel with the hose again. After a few years inside he figured out that was bullshit. Human beings were wired to get used to just about anything. That didn’t make you hard. It made you indoctrinated