The Chaos of Longing

sometimes i wonder if i’m too much rainfall and not enough sun.

i already know how to set your body on fire and watch the trail of ashes smolder but i want to learn how to find a place in your heart.

don’t string me along
but love me like music.

dear future lover

teach me how to love without running with my eyes shut.

teach me how to love without filling hollow heartsuntil i’ve become a shell of myself.

teach me how to love without becoming a land mine on the inside.teach me that loveis not warbut peacetime in your eyes.

loved me
when i was being
reprimanded.
that’s when i learned
i had to tempt chaos
to feel loved.

i took all the pieces
i could get from you
and made it look like love.

sometimes i wonder if i’m too much rainfall and not enough sun.

longing

you’ll get used to me

it will not be love
at first sight
when you look at me.
your eyes and heart
must adjust to me.
darkness lives here.

i will not fit perfectly.
you’ll have to break me in
like brand new shoes
and i will pinch you
with every step.

i will grow on you
like weeds
in an untended garden.
you’ll yank me out
in hopes that something
beautiful will sprout
in my place
but it never does.

i will slowly seep
into the floorboards
of your heart
until they squeak
and buckle.
this will be your new home
and you cannot afford to leave.
i won’t let you

you are all the makingsof love at first sight.

buried them deep but this book of ache and longing collapsed from its spine and found you and mehiding underneath the weight of the words.it’s time to set these pages free
and i don’t give a damn
how you feel about it.