The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo

This person who made me feel beautiful and sexy for so long was attracted to men. I thought, Am I like a man

He was the Bieber to my Selena – except that he had no money and neither of us was particularly talented at the time.

In the years since then, I’ve experienced a lot of desperation and self-doubt, but in a way, I’ve come full circle. I know my worth. I embrace my power. I say if I’m beautiful. I say if I’m strong. You will not determine my story. I will. I’ll speak and share and fuck and love, and I will never apologize for it. I am amazing for you, not because of you. I am not who I sleep with. I am not my weight. I am not my mother. I am myself. And I am all of you.

always think of that goldfish quote often attributed to Einstein: “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” Let that goldfish go someplace where it can join a school – and then hire an actual climber instead.

Being an introvert doesn’t mean you’re shy. It means you enjoy being alone.

But like every other girl I’m friends with, I like to diagnose people without any research.

Pilates was developed by Joseph Pilates, who worked with soldiers during World War II. He created his method to help very wounded soldiers get back into shape. Now it’s mostly used by housewives who want child-soldier abs and who refuse to let their asses go where gravity is inevitably dragging them

t not Real Housewives of New

I never ever talk to people on airplanes. It’s a huge gamble that has resulted in such things as James Toback (Google him) telling me, “You don’t really know a woman until you’ve eaten her ass,” before we even took off, and a woman showing me pictures of her dead bird for three hours.

like my vagina is a revolving door at Macy’s at Christmastime.