Confident Speaking

Your voice is just as good as anyone else’s. It just needs bringing out.

Talk about your feelings about doing the speech. It’s a stream of consciousness, so think about the situation from every possible angle. What is your biggest fear? Speak it out loud. What is the worst thing that could happen? Go to town on this one. Get it all out in the open. Would the world really come to an end if you stumble over one word? Have you done one of these events before and not enjoyed it? Or been terrified and forgotten everything you’d planned? Is this something that you’ve been hoping for and dreaming about for a long time? Could the dream quickly turn into a nightmare if you don’t make some decisions about the event soon? Be honest with yourself about any less-than-perfect past experiences, and then move forward and firmly focus yourself on planning for the future.

You could play different ‘roles’. You could be the audience member who knows nothing and needs you to take nothing for granted, or you could be the audience member who knows quite a lot and would prefer you to cut to the chase.

What are you talking about? Why are you talking about it? Why is it you (rather than someone else) who is doing the talking? Who are you talking to? Where are you speaking? When are you doing the talk? How long do you have for your talk? Is all the material spoken or will there be visual or audio material? Who decides what will actually be said?

There are two main reasons for doing this exercise. First, you will have made a start, not just by thinking (and perhaps worrying), but by being active and doing something practical. You are starting to anchor yourself in some facts, telling yourself what you know about the plans for the event. And secondly, once you are clear about what needs to be done, you can begin to make decisions about how you’re going to do it.

As you listen back you’ll like some options better than others. You could begin scripting your material by using the options you like. It can be hard to know if we’ve chosen the right words until we hear those words spoken. Just reading them in our head will not give us the same experience.

When we are overwhelmed with strong emotions – especially negative ones, like self-criticism – our breathing muscles tend to tighten.

So I strongly recommend that when you’re doing the exercises in this book you always record and listen back to them.

self-criticism is lethal to confident speaking.

We need the breath to flow – it’s the basic energy that gives life to your voice.