Why didn't somebody tell me this sooner

Edward Deci & Richard Flaste’s (1995) book Why we do what we do: Understanding self-motivation.

action: An identity-based motivation perspective,” in the journal Self and Identity. Article available at https://doi.org/10.1080/15298868.2017.1375003

decisions help or hurt you, both now and in the future. You can sit on the sidelines and watch other people live their lives or you can choose to show up and be the writer, director, and star for your own.

What I wish somebody had told me back then is that this is your life. You only get one, it will be too brief, and you need to own it, make it uniquely your own, and create something you can be proud of.

What I wish somebody had told me back then is life will not only inevitably put you in hard situations, but being in hard situations is actually essential to living a really good life

What I wish somebody had told me back then is that this is your life. You only get one, it will be too brief, and you need to own it, make it uniquely your own, and create something you can be proud of. You need to stop going through the motions (in school, in your beliefs, in sports, in friendships) and really show up. You need to make decisions that are your own and that are best for you and what you want for yourself. You need to be the person you want to be. The only lives your parents get to lay claim to are their own. This one belongs to you.

What I wish somebody had told me back then is that this is your life. You only get one, it will be too brief, and you need to own it, make it uniquely your own, and create something you can be proud of.

What I wish somebody had told me back then is there is no script for your life.

What I wish somebody had told me back then is life will not only inevitably put you in hard situations, but being in hard situations is actually essential to living a really good life. It’s by going through hard things and hard times, whether they’re big (like suffering a major injury or long-term illness, not getting into the college that was your first choice, your home burning down) or small (like the tickets to the concert you desperately wanted to go to selling out before you can get one, being grounded or sick on the day of the event you were excited about, getting a bad grade), that we learn how to deal with our emotions and navigate and cope with even tougher situations that we’ll face later in life.

I wish somebody had told me back then (because I’m sure I could’ve used this knowledge in other situations) is that you have to take risks to make progress, to grow as a person, and to make your life better. You cannot play it safe and stay in your comfort zone all your life and expect anything to change or improve. Try new things. Consider new opportunities, even if they seem impossible at first. Don’t say no to something just because it’s big and scary. Your future and your future happiness depend on it.