‘Tiger.’
‘About time you answered,’ I said. ‘I’ve been trying to talk to you forever!’
‘This had better be fucking good, I’m busy.’
‘Do you have time for a simple question?’
‘How simple?’
‘Can you synthesise two metric tons of weapons-grade steel in the next eight weeks?’
‘Two thousand kilos?’
‘Yep.’
‘Damn. Let me think. Um . . . no. Number One could . . . No. Sorry, Emma, can’t be done. I can’t free anybody up for that amount of time, and with a couple of my biggest guys working on it . . .’ He thought for a moment. ‘No. I can’t spare them, not unless you can’t find another way.’
‘Okay. I thought that would be the case, but it was worth a try. I’ll give my connections on the Earthly a call. Do you know anyone who sells this stuff?’
‘Of course not, we make our own. We’re the last people you should ask.’
‘Could you provide me with a smaller quantity of Celestial-weapons-grade steel with energy spun through it to make it more effective against demons?’
‘How much of that would you need?’
‘Probably a hundred kilos to start off with.’
‘I can put my Number Three and Number Five on that—should take about three days . . . No, wait, Number Three’s still in Russia, so about a week. You can have it faster if you provide the raw steel for Five to work with after you’ve bought your big lot. Satisfactory?’
‘Thanks,’ I said, noting it down. ‘That’s all I need for now.’
‘Do you know—’
‘Yes, I know I sound like him,’ I said. ‘Bye, Tiger.’
‘Wait,’ he said. ‘Why are you asking for this now? We sent you a bunch of steel . . .’ I heard papers shuffling. ‘Not long ago.’
‘Wait . . . are you actually at your desk?’
He sounded sheepish. ‘Maybe. So the steel. What happened to it all?’
‘I’ve had the forge working nonstop, and some of the steel was wasted on the materials-fusion experiments with the Phoenix’s people.’
‘How did that work out? Ceramic would make an excellent edge. Much sharper, and would hold the edge for significantly longer.’
‘It didn’t. The ceramic was too brittle—one good hit and it was gone; and when the steel flexed it shattered.’
‘Carbon fibre?’
‘Major fail on that one: much too soft, completely destroyed the edge.’
‘Well, damn. Okay then, send the steel over to me when you’ve bought it and I’ll put a couple of my boys onto the energy enhancement.’ He shuffled papers again. ‘Yep, should be possible, but send it fast because we’re heavily occupied with war preparations.’
‘I know. All of you Winds are flat out—hell, even you’re being productive. Just hold a minute. There.’
‘What?’
‘Marked it in my diary: Tiger at his desk. Is that an unofficial holiday in the West?’
‘No, it’s a day of mourning because I’m not in the harem. Fuck it, it’s more fun in there anyway. Bye, Emma,’ he said, and hung up.
‘Wei?’
‘Simone, where are you? You’re supposed to be here for this call to Monica.’
My mobile phone dinged with a text message and I picked it up to see: Leo.
‘I can’t come right now,’ Simone said. ‘I’m stuck outside the student accommodation office, they’re running late for my interview. If I leave now I won’t have a place in the residences. Can’t it wait?’
‘No, I’ve made arrangements with her family so that she’d be in to speak to us. We haven’t talked to her in ages.’
‘I know, Emma, but I really can’t leave! Look, as soon as I have it all settled here I’ll pop over to the Philippines and see her, that’d be much better anyway. Oh, my number’s up, I have to go. Say hello to her for me, will you? Tell her I love her. Bye.’
She hung up. I read Leo’s text.
Sry can’t come up rght now stuck @ Singpre with orphans, gov’t being trble w ID docs. Will talk to M next time, k?
Not even John was able to come; he was in a meeting with the Generals about the defence of Hell that had already gone an hour over time and looked like taking most of the afternoon.
I dialled Monica’s number.
‘Hello?’
‘Hello, is Monica there?’ I said.
‘Who is asking?’
‘It’s Emma Donahoe.’
‘Oh! Oh! Yes, ma’am, sorry, ma’am.’
I sighed with exasperation. ‘I’m not ma’am. Just call me Emma. Monica’s part of the family!’
‘Yes, ma’am. Just a second, I’ll get Monica.’
I heard a torrent of Tagalog, many excited voices on the other end of the line, then Monica came on.
‘Ma’am.’ Her voice was thin and weak.
‘Oh, Monica,’ I said. ‘I’m so sorry this happened.’
‘It’s God’s will, ma’am.’
‘Will everybody stop with the ma’am business! Just Emma. Please.’
‘You’re a queen, ma’am.’ Her voice became breathless. ‘I knew that Mr Chen was a special man, but when Marcus told me . . . I never knew. Marcus explained that even though Mr Chen doesn’t say much, and most of the time doesn’t seem much, . . . he’s a king—or more like an angel, a Chinese angel. I am very privileged to have been a part of such a noble family. I never would have met Marcus if it hadn’t been for Mr Chen and his friend Mr Tiger. I have Marcus, I have my family, I am so happy. Oh! My sister’s daughter is pregnant, she’ll be having the baby soon, so much excitement.’ She sounded genuinely delighted. ‘How are Miss Simone and Mister Leo? Are they well?’
I winced. ‘They were supposed to come and talk to you, but Simone’s held up organising her university accommodation in Tokyo—’
‘University! That’s wonderful! I have nieces and nephews that are going to university, the first time in our family. And it’s because of your generosity, ma’am, that we can afford for them to go. They will do great things, just like Miss Simone. One of them is even studying to be a doctor! We are so proud. What will Simone study?’
‘Marine biology. She’ll be learning to save the oceans.’
‘Of course, since Mr Chen is . . .’ She hissed with restrained laughter. ‘What he is. Please tell her I said hello.’
‘I’m sorry she couldn’t speak to you.’
‘No! She’s doing important things. It’s fine, it’s fine.’
‘Leo’s running some orphanages all over Asia. He’s stuck in Singapore arranging for some children to be looked after and couldn’t get away, but he sends his best wishes.’
‘I always knew he would do great things. You know, the first time I saw him, he scared me to death. And the first time I found out . . . about him . . . I thought he was . . .’ She hesitated. ‘Sinful? I don’t know the English word. But then to see him care for Simone and protect all of us . . . I think that God has a special place in his heart for a noble man like Leo.’
‘I agree completely.’
‘How is Mr Chen?’
‘He couldn’t come and talk to you, he’s off doing . . . king stuff,’ I said. ‘He’s defending all of us.’
‘I know, I understand, I understand, he’s always been so important.’ Her voice filled with amusement. ‘You’d never know it from his clothes. I hope you and Leo are making him wear something nice.’
‘Hey, this is Mr Chen we’re talking about,’ I said with similar amusement. ‘Anything he wears is immediately scruffy no matter how new it is.’
‘I know!’ She giggled. ‘And you, ma’am? Are you happy?’ Her voice became mischievous. ‘Are you two married yet? I expect many children from both of you, you know. They would be like my own grandchildren.’ She sighed with bliss. ‘I only wish I could last a little longer and have the chance to see you be a mother and Mr Chen be a father again. That, I think, was the happiest time of his life, when he had Miss Michelle and little Simone . . . Oh!’ She sounded horrified. ‘But you make him happy too, I didn’t mean—’
‘I know what you mean, and he’s said that it was a happy time for him as well, and you helped him and Michelle to make it happy. He says he’s been more blessed in the time you’ve been with him than any other time in his very long life.’
She dropped her voice. ‘You say too much, ma’am.’
‘I’m a better person for having known you, Monica. All of us are.’
‘Thank you. Um . . .’ She choked on the words. ‘I think I need to go now. I’ll put Marcus on.’ Her voice thickened even more. ‘Thank you so much for calling me, ma’am, it means so much to me . . .’
She obviously broke down, and the receiver filled with the sound of Tagalog again. Then Marcus spoke. ‘Thank you, ma’am. She’s crying, but smiling, and she needs to rest.’
‘I’ll try to have Simone and Leo talk to her soon, okay?’
‘That would be wonderful, ma’am. Thank you for calling.’
There was more Tagalog, and the phone disconnected.
I leaned back in my office chair, pulled out a couple of tissues, wiped my eyes, and turned back to the weapons inventory spreadsheets.
The meeting between the demons and the Celestial was held the next day. The Demon King sent his Number One so John was obliged to send Er Lang, a Celestial of matching rank. Number One had demanded that they meet one on one with no Retainers, so Er Lang took Zara with him, as jewellery, to relay, and we watched the meeting from Yanluo Wang’s office in Hell.
After the bows and formalities had taken place, Er Lang and Number One sat at a table on the middle of the causeway. They spoke for a tedious five minutes about families and happenings on both Planes, then settled into silence as each waited for the other to broach the subject.
Er Lang finally relented and pulled a scroll from the side of the table. ‘I have been directed by the Celestial to request that the four humans who have completed their sentences be returned.’
Number One’s expression remained carefully blank. ‘There are no humans who have completed their sentences.’
‘There are four,’ Er Lang said, pushing the scroll at Number One.
Number One didn’t look at it. ‘We do not have any humans to return to you.’
‘You must return them. That is the agreement that you have with the Celestial.’
Number One rose and pushed his chair back. ‘Come and get them.’
‘We do not wish to go to war with you,’ Er Lang said without rising. ‘You were soundly defeated last time. Do not repeat your mistake.’
Number One grinned menacingly. ‘Guns don’t hurt us.’
‘We don’t use guns.’
‘No,’ Number One said. ‘But we do.’
John’s fingers twitched on the table next to me and I put my hand on top of his to still them. He inclined his head slightly in thanks without looking away from the transmission.
Er Lang pushed his chair back and rose, then summoned his halberd and held it upright next to him. ‘You will defer to the authority of the Celestial, demon, or face the consequences.’
‘What the hell are you doing, Number Two?’ John said.
Number One summoned a similar weapon. ‘We do not defer to turtle eggs,’ he said with relish.
Er Lang’s halberd was a blur as he swung it straight at Number One’s head. Number One blocked it and pushed it down, then spun his own weapon and drove the pointed butt into Er Lang’s throat.
John jumped to his feet and leaned on the table to stare at the transmission with astonishment. ‘What the fuck?’
Number One ripped the point of halberd out and blood gushed from Er Lang’s throat. Er Lang tottered for a minute, eyes wide and breath gurgling through the throat wound, then fell sideways. The transmission blinked out and Er Lang appeared on the floor of Yanluo Wang’s office. We knelt next to him and John summoned a pad to put over the wound.
‘You’d better have a very good reason for this, Number Two,’ John said to him.
Er Lang’s breath bubbled through the blood in his throat. He attempted to speak, and made more horrible gurgling sounds. He changed to silent speech.
There was a small memory device attached to the point. They are ready to go to war and will attack soon. This memory device has intelligence on their plans and an outline of their strength. You need to keep me alive until you can remove it. If I die, it’s gone.
John checked the wound. ‘This isn’t fatal. He’s missed your carotid and pierced your trachea.’
He held one hand over Er Lang’s throat and the blood lifted free. Er Lang gasped with relief, the breath whistling through the wound in his throat. He panted until blood started to well from the wound and blocked it again.
‘We need a tracheotomy tube to clear your breathing.’ John looked around for Yanluo Wang, who had already gone. ‘We’re finding one. He told you to attack him?’
He said to make it look good.
‘You didn’t. He defeated you easily in front of everybody.’
I wasn’t expecting him to be quite as good as he is. He’s faster than me. He did defeat me easily. His breath sucked through the blood. Help, Ah Wu, I’m drowning!
John lifted the blood free again and Er Lang panted with relief. He turned his head to see me. What did you teach them?
‘Nothing,’ I said. Er Lang’s dog appeared and pushed me aside. ‘The Jade Emperor restricted me from teaching.’
‘This is all my fault!’ Zara wailed from her ring on Er Lang’s right hand. ‘Never ask me to be jewellery again. I am bad luck!’
Just take the device out of me so I can go! Er Lang said, his breath still bubbling.
John studied the wound. ‘I can’t see it. I’ll have to open you up further to find it.’
Er Lang’s dog whined.
Zara rose from her setting in a ring on Er Lang’s finger. ‘Let me do it,’ she said, her voice hoarse with emotion.
She shrank as she swept through the air towards the wound, then disappeared into Er Lang’s throat. His face went rigid with pain and he gritted his teeth, arching his back.
‘I have it,’ Zara said, re-emerging covered in Er Lang’s blood. ‘My Lord Er Lang, I am so very sorry. I vow I will never be a piece of jewellery again.’
‘It’s not your fault, Zara,’ I said.
‘I am cursed!’
Yanluo Wang entered holding a tracheotomy tube in a sterile bag. ‘Sorry. Took a while to find one.’
Don’t bother, Er Lang panted through the blood, his face a fierce grimace of pain. Do me a favour, Ah Wu? You are the quickest and cleanest way.
John hesitated, then glanced up at me. He didn’t want me to know he could do it.
‘Do it, John, I know you can,’ I said.
John dropped his head to speak intensely to Er Lang. ‘You ask a great deal; you know how difficult this is.’
I know. Please, Ah Wu, let me go, Er Lang said.
‘Only for you, old friend,’ John said.
He put two fingers on the side of Er Lang’s throat and concentrated as if taking his pulse. Er Lang’s breathing stopped and he went limp. He disappeared, and his dog fell over his front paws then disappeared as well.
‘Hold your hand out,’ Zara said to John.
He opened his palm and she dropped a tiny, blood-covered micro-SD memory card less than a centimetre to a side into his hand.
‘Will it still work after being soaked like this?’ I said.
‘It’s an expensive waterproof one,’ Zara said. ‘Uh, my Lord, did you just kill him with your touch?’
John didn’t reply.
‘It’s part of what he is,’ I said.
‘You are as cursed as I am, Dark Lord,’ Zara breathed. ‘I am glad it is difficult for you.’
‘It isn’t. The difficulty lies in not killing everything else around me.’ He glared up at her, his voice icy. ‘Do not tell anyone.’
‘My Lord,’ Zara said. ‘Forgive me, I think I’m going to be sick.’ She disappeared.
‘I’ll head over to Court Ten and talk to Judge Pao,’ Yanluo Wang said. ‘We need Er Lang back as quickly as possible now we know they’re about to attack.’
‘Don’t,’ John said, summoning a bubble of water to wash the blood off the SD card. ‘He’ll blame us for the fact we’re at war and delay Er Lang’s release.’
‘He’s not really that uncooperative, is he?’ I said, then raised my hands. ‘Never mind. I know the answer to that.’
John released the bubble and the SD card fell out of the air into his hand. ‘Let’s go back to the Mountain. I think in the very near future I will be needed in three places at once.’
‘You can do that?’ Yanluo Wang said.
‘Best I can manage is two, and right now one of them is slightly stationary,’ John said with grim humour. He leaned on the desk to pull himself to his feet. ‘Pass the message on to the Celestial that I’m on my way. I’ll be there as soon as I can.’
He reached and helped me to stand, holding me upright when another wave of dizziness made me hesitate. ‘I’ll take us straight back to the Mountain, Emma, and put us on the bed. We’ll probably be unconscious for a while.’ He raised his head and concentrated. ‘The staff are ready for us.’ He gazed into my eyes. ‘Ready?’
I lost myself in his eyes. ‘Always.’