Darkside Zodiac: Cancer

Born under a bad sign? Of course you were, we all were. In this case Cancer the Crab, the zodiac’s big momma guilt-tripper. Everyone knows their bright starry self, but the Darkside Zodiac reveals what you are like on the bad days. This will send you into a grim ecstasy of worry and self-loathing, Cancer, but you love that sort of thing, so accept it as a gift.

What can you expect in this short, yet vitriol-packed e-volume? Prepare to break bad. Here’s the checklist (partial – you think we give this stuff away?)

* Bitch factor? You got it.

Likewise

* Annoying habits

* Deadly sin of choice

* Your love life. Hah.

* Your criminal career

* Your road rage

Plus clever charts showing just how incompatible you are with everybody else in every conceivable aspect of life. Of course it’s not your fault. It never is. Find out which planet/s is/are responsible for your cosmic awfulness, and blame it/them. And you get to find out who famously shares your sector of the darkness, just so you have a role model if you begin to stray towards the light.

Until now only available to the discerning in tree-based form, the darkside has gone e-side so you can read all about your dark self without having to lift a finger to turn the page. Buy one for yourself (and wallow in delicious shame) or, even better, for your friends/enemies/frenemies/office nemesis and send it to them anonymously. That would be very darkside.