Black Wave

She remembered the feelings of love and drugs sickening her body, and felt tender toward the experience even as she was glad it was over

and so what if the world hadn’t responded very positively, Michelle knew she looked awesome and she was grateful for that, there on that day in the bookstore, she was grateful that she always trusted in herself above everyone else, in spite of everything else, she always moved into her destiny with excitement and bravery

Really? Michelle asked. Really? You Really Do? Michelle felt that love rise up inside of her, that scared and frustrated love. She wanted to push it somehow into her mother, make her feel what it felt like to love her. How tremendous and difficult.

You don’t have to try so hard, ’Chelle, she said. Just love me, okay? And I’ll love you. Simple. Okay?

Michelle opened and closed the bookstore depending on how she felt about humanity that day. She had to have an open heart to open the door.

There’s not enough time on the planet for you to get over your heartache, but you should just trust that if things hadn’t all gone to shit you would’ve gotten over it. You would have been in love a bunch more, I can feel it. You’re one of those people. I bet you fall in love easy, don’t you?

Michelle shrugged. I Suppose.

Nothing to be ashamed of. Doesn’t make the love less real. It’s just your state. It’s a gift. Anyway, you’ll probably never love again, but just know that you would have. Just know that. Sayonara

Michelle remembered the feel of it inside her body, side by side with Lu. She didn’t care if the love had been real or fake, the chemical reaction synthetic opiates or organic dopamine, she wanted those feelings again.

Leaves flew from a tree like butterflies and carried us over a hole in the ground. Michelle really liked that one. Michelle wondered why no one had thought to use their dreams as personal ads before. Back when the world wasn’t ending and dreams were just dreams. It would have been a great way to get a vibe on someone.

The man was dead, nothing was of any use to him. What were the ethics of the apocalypse?

But then I had an acid trip and realized that people need to find their own way. It isn’t for me to say what experiences are healthy or not healthy. Maybe it’s beneficial for a soul to, for instance, sink into depression and end their life. They could take that experience into their next life and become a healer, how do I know? The picture is much, much bigger than we think it is.

That’s another silver lining. He stroked his beard meditatively. There won’t be any time for things to pay off so you’ll have to only do things because you love them.