The Little NLP Workbook

The mindset for success can be summed up using the concept of ‘cause and effect’. For every effect there is an underlying cause. Similarly, people can be either ‘at effect’ or ‘at cause’.
■ At effect means that we believe that the causes for our situation and problems lie outside us (eg the government, our teachers).
■ At cause means that we know that, at the very least, we can choose how we respond to negative situations, and in the longer term we can change our mindset and therefore change negative situations or circumstances around us.

Here are six principles for success used in NLP.
1. Set a desired goal or outcome before starting any activity or task. Even if it is not a full well-formed goal (Chapter 3), at least know what you want before going to the gym or starting a meeting.
2. Use your eyes, ears and feelings (known as using ‘sensory acuity’) to gather feedback and see whether you are on track to achieve your goal.
3. Be flexible. If what you are doing is not working, take a different approach.
4. Build and maintain rapport, ie good relationships with people. Rarely can we succeed without the assistance of others. (‘Rapport’ is covered in Chapter 7.)
5. Have a positive mental attitude and body language. A key aspect of NLP relates to thinking and acting positively.
6. Take action. This was covered in goal setting and achieving (here).

1. There is no ‘failure’, only ‘feedback’. If you don’t succeed at a task, taking it as ‘feedback’ will help you to learn and feel as though you’re making progress. If you take it as ‘failure’, you may feel negative (some people even give up).
2. Be flexible. The more flexible you can be, the more likely you are to succeed. Having 1,001 ways to respond is usually better than having only one way. See point 3 of ‘the principles for success’.
3. People have untapped potential. All of us have inner resources (such as determination, ability to learn, motivation). In Chapter 9 you will learn how to access and channel such resources.
4. Respect the opinions and individuality of others, just as you would want them to do with you. You are more likely to influence and build rapport if you do this.
5. If someone else in a similar situation can do something, then so can you. Learn from successful people, notice what they do and take on board what you think will help you.

Summary
■ Setting goals is essential to success and achievement.
■ Use the four step process whenever you set goals.
■ The important thing is to set a well-formed goal. How you achieve it can be addressed afterwards.
■ Set challenging goals to achieve more.
■ Visualise your success.

What is NLP?
Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) is a series of techniques, communication tools, approaches and attitudes that help people to get better results, faster.
The ‘Neuro Linguistic’ aspect relates to the language of the mind, ie pictures, sounds, feelings, tastes, smells and self-talk. ‘Programming’ relates to our patterns of thinking and behaving, which could be seen as similar to computer programs. Examples of such patterns are:
■ feeling nervous (or confident) before an interview
■ getting annoyed (or laughing) when our child drops food on the floor.
NLP helps you to set goals that are right for you, and to overcome challenges in the way, so that you are far more likely to achieve your goal.

The benefits of NLP
NLP has three main benefits.
1. Improve communication: both to influence people more effectively and to change the way we communicate to ourself.
2. Change your thinking, behaviours and beliefs: to stop doing things that prevent you achieving what you want and start doing more of the things that will help you to be, do or have what you want.
3. ‘Replicate excellence’: if you (or someone else) can do something excellently, NLP can be used to replicate (or ‘model’) the relevant excellent behaviour(s) and attitudes.

Coaching
■ Helping clients achieve goals
■ Increasing overall fulfilment
■ Feeling more confident
■ Overcoming personal barriers to success
Education
■ Learning
■ Teaching
Health
There are many health benefits of NLP. Some medical professionals have used NLP, for example, for pain management and weight loss.
Sport and performing arts
■ Improving focus
■ Overcoming bad performances
■ Feeling confident and/or overcoming nerves
■ Mental rehearsal/visualisation

Summary
■ NLP is predominantly about achieving better results, faster – how to have more of what you want and less of what you don’t want.
■ NLP has three main benefits: improving communication, changing thinking, behaviours and beliefs, and replicating (modelling) excellence.
■ NLP can be used in all areas of life.

Part 1 starts with an introduction to NLP, helps you to be clear about what you want in your life, and then gives you the right mindset to achieve it.
■ Part 2 gives you the fundamental NLP communication and influencing skills which are relevant in all situations, and which will help you to achieve your goals more easily.
■ Part 3 contains some important NLP techniques that you can use to address the everyday challenges along your journey, increasing the likelihood of your success.
Each chapter ends with a brief summary of the key points so that you are clear what you have covered.

By the end of this book, you will be even better able to achieve your goals, take your life in the direction you want, harness your inherent strengths and abilities and overcome commonplace challenges such as:
■ nervousness at interviews and presentations
■ uncertainty about what decision to make
■ disagreements with peopl