How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships

The way you move is your autobiography in motion.

How to Come Across as 100 Percent Credible to Everyone

You see, nobody gets to the top alone. Over the years, people who seem to have it all have captured the hearts and conquered the minds of hundreds of others who helped boost them, rung by rung, to the top of whatever corporate or social ladder they chose.

Technique #21

Encore!

The sweetest sound a performer can hear welling up out of the applause is Encore! Encore! Lets hear it again! The sweetest sound your conversation partner can hear from your lips when youre talking with a group of people is Tell them about the time you . . .

Whenever youre at a meeting or party with someone important to you, think of some stories he or she told you. Choose an appropriate one from their repertoire that the crowd will enjoy. Then shine the spotlight by requesting a repeat performance.

The added benefit of this technique is that, once youve got them up and running with their conversation, you can sneak off and find more interesting company!

One word of warning: make sure the story you request is one in which the teller shines. No one wants to retell the time they lost the sale, cracked up the car, or broke up the bar and spent the night in jail. Make sure your requested Encore! is a positive story where they come out the big winner, not the buffoon.

Technique #20

Parroting

Never be left speechless again. Like a parrot, simply repeat the last few words your conversation partner says. That puts the ball right back in his or her court, and then all you need to do is listen.

Technique #19

The Swiveling Spotlight

When you meet someone, imagine a giant revolving spotlight between you. When youre talking, the spotlight is on you. When the new person is speaking, its shining on him or her. If you shine it brightly enough, the stranger will be blinded to the fact that you have hardly said a word about yourself. The longer you keep it shining away from you, the more interesting he or she finds you.

Technique #18

Be a Word Detective

Like a good gumshoe, listen to your conversation partners every word for clues to his or her preferred topic. The evidence is bound to slip out. Then spring on that subject like a sleuth on to a slip of the tongue. Like Sherlock Holmes, you have the clue to the subject thats hot for the other person.

Technique #16

Never the Naked Job

When asked the inevitable And what do you do, you may think Im an economist/an educator/an engineer is giving enough information to engender good conversation. However, to one who is not an economist, educator, or an engineer, you might as well be saying Im a paleontologist/psychoanalyst/pornographer.

Flesh it out. Throw out some delicious facts about your job for new acquaintances to munch on. Otherwise, theyll soon excuse themselves, preferring the snacks back at the cheese tray.

Remember, as a quotable notable once said, No man would listen to you talk if he didnt know it was his turn next.

Technique #15

Never the Naked City

Whenever someone asks you the inevitable, And where are you from? never, ever, unfairly challenge their powers of imagination with a one-word answer.

Learn some engaging facts about your hometown that conversational partners can comment on. Then, when they say something clever in response to your bait, they think youre a great conversationalist.