She Drives Me Crazy

“You are the most brilliant, passionate, infuriating person I’ve ever met. You make me feel seen.”

“I’ve been falling for you since the second you hit my car,”

“Irene Abraham, I wanna take you on a date.”

“Congratulations,” Irene says in my ear. “That was some spectacular fouling out.”

And suddenly she’s in front of me, and her eyes are sparkling in that blazing, commanding way she has, and before I can catch my breath, she grabs my face and kisses me.

“I hate you,” I say. Then I kiss her and kiss her and kiss her.

“Mmm, I’m gonna call bullshit on that. You claimed you didn’t hit my car, either.”

“You and Irene are always straight with each other. I mean, in a gay way.”

I’m here to tell you that your ex-girlfriend looks like a terrible kisser, and the only person I feel sorry for is that poor girl whose face she was chewing on. Seriously, that was heinous. Did you even like kissing her?”

I realize I’m staring at her without meaning to.