Before I Go to Sleep: A Novel

A Memoir of Love and Amnesia

There are memories I am better off without. Things better lost forever.

Nothing feels real, everything invented. Even myself.

It’s not life, it’s just an existence, jumping from one moment to the next with no idea of the past, and no plan for the future

‘It’s so difficult, isn’t it? To see what’s going on when you’re in the absolute middle of something? It’s only with hindsight we can see things for what they are.’

er and her friends. We drank vodka and lager

untie the bow

They glistened in the dim light as though he’d been crying. How much he loves me, I thought. My feeling of guilt intensified.
“I’m sorry,”

club. I must have been pretty wasted. Wasted enough that I don’t remember anything at all. Wasted enough to have gone home with a man with a wedding ring and hairs on his back.
I fold back the covers as gently as I can

can make out little else. The alarm clock looks complicated, but I find a button and manage to silence it