Howard Buten

When I Was Five I Killed Myself

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  • drgnnxhas quoted4 years ago
    She grabbed my hair and pulled my face back.

    “Do you hear me?”

    I came back. I opened my eyes. “If you touch her,” I whispered, “I’ll kill you.”

    I don’t know how she got the number but she called my parents. She said I said I would kill her.
  • drgnnxhas quoted4 years ago
    I didn’t know what to do. I stood and watched and was angry. Because I am children too. And I hate it too.
  • drgnnxhas quoted4 years ago
    “I hate being children!”
  • drgnnxhas quoted4 years ago
    “Knock knock,” I said (it was a joke).

    “Who’s there?”

    “Boo.”

    “Boo who?” said Jessica.

    “You don’t have to cry about it,” I said.

    Jessica looked at me. “I’m not,” she said.

    “No, see. You don’t have to cry about it.”

    “I’m not, Burt.” She stopped laughing.

    “No, it’s a joke.”

    “What is?”
  • drgnnxhas quoted4 years ago
    “Peter Pan is a girl.” She was looking out the window still. “They made her look like a boy but she is a girl, they just cut her hair short and made her wear a tight brassiere.”
  • drgnnxhas quoted4 years ago
    “And then I decided that I wasn’t going to be children anymore. I took Raggedy Ann and killed her in the wastebasket by the elevator.”
  • drgnnxhas quoted4 years ago
    She said that there are some things children don’t understand.
  • drgnnxhas quoted4 years ago
    I went across and grabbed her on the arm and shook her. Sometimes my mom says she gets mad at me because she loves me and I never understood it before.
  • drgnnxhas quoted4 years ago
    “Yes,” she said. “But what if it isn’t? It would be like when they run the Air Raid sirens on Saturday as a test. Maybe the man is really getting smaller.”
  • drgnnxhas quoted4 years ago
    . I feel he should retire to Borman Hall where Gramps lives, it is like a hospital where you stay while you’re dying but it’s kosher.
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