Pay Attention, Say Thank You: Seven Rules & Practices for Joyful Living

Most of us think that these emotional states happen to us. The truth is that we have more control over our emotional state than we imagine.

Remember, if you don’t like how you feel, you can look to your list of feelings to find something that would feel better.

By simply forgiving yourself for holding on so long, and by letting go of your anger, hurt or disappointment, you will free yourself – at last! – to be joyful and loving in your life.

You may have a need, but it is never someone else’s responsibility to meet your needs.

Let’s take a look at forgiveness. When you are honest about it, who is really suffering when you refuse to forgive someone for a wrong that he or she has done to you or to someone else?

Ask for what you want. If you don’t get it, decide if it really matters or not. If it does, then ask again in a loving way. Find a loving way to help others give you what you want. If it doesn’t really matter, let it go and move on to something more fun. As long as you are coming from a loving place, a resolution will happen, one way or the other. Your clarity and love will break down resistance – either yours or theirs – so that you can move on in joy.

You will find alternatives as long as you keep this process light, stay focused on what you really, really, really want and simply be amused at the voices of your mind that will tell you “No!” Eventually – and eventually will become shorter and shorter very quickly – this process of shifting your thinking from a state of complaining to a state of creating will become easy and playful.

The A List, the B List and the C List

On a piece of paper, list everything that is standing in your way of living joyfully today. You might list people, situations, worries, physical conditions, etc. Whatever it is, put it on the list.
Go down the list and mark with an “A” anything about which you can do absolutely nothing right now. Transfer all the A items to another piece of paper. That’s your “A List.”
Now go down the first list and mark with a “B” anything about which you can do something right now, even if the action is simple or small. Anything on that first list about which you can do something goes on another piece of paper as your “B List.”
So now everything you listed as an obstacle to living joyfully is either on your “A List” or on your “B List.”
On another piece of paper – mark it “C List” – write down all of your dreams, desires, hopes and needs, no matter how large or small, which are not yet fulfilled.
Here comes the fun part.
Take the A list and tear it up. Toss it in the trash. As Monroe says, “Dismiss all items contained therein from your consciousness. Why waste your energy worrying about that which you cannot control?”
Take the B list and do something – anything – to move towards resolving each item on that list. You may find that with some simple action on your part, you can cross off many of the B items from your list. Once you begin to tackle the other items, with just the smallest of actions, you’ll find that they have less impact on how you are feeling.
Finally, pick at least one item from the C list and do something – anything – that moves you towards fulfilling that goal or dream or desire.

Nothing that you are resisting is worth holding onto.

Acting on those things that bring you joy and pleasure... that’s how to live an outrageously joyful life!