A Cast of Vultures

We pointed to the same image at the same moment. ‘Him,’ we chorused, as if we were gold medallists in the Olympic synchronised photo-identifying team relay.

There are some points where the details don’t quite ring true, she says.’ There were points where an entire bell tower was ringing a carillon of false notes, but that could come later.

About as not-welcoming as a haemophiliac would be when introduced to a vampire in a dark alley.

The Nightmare on Elm Street was about a neighbourhood terrorised by Dutch elm disease, while the villain of the Jeepers Creepers series made his bid for world domination through an infestation of Japanese knotweed.

They were followed by a photo that must have been snapped by accident. I peered at it: dust bunnies and dirty socks. Photos of paintings: I take them in museums, then I forget who painted then, and where they were.

But not back in there, or I’ll start correcting the apostrophes on their blackboard menu.’ It’s my version of community service, providing a good spelling environment for all, but some people just don’t appreciate it.

‘That sounds like a step forward.’ Since I had no idea what the case was about, nor was I prepared to ask if the interviews had given the results he wanted, encouraging banalities was all I was good for. Even if Encouraging Banalities sounded like it was a Seattle indie rock band.

I resented the implication that I was a complete idiot. I was only part idiot.

It’s hard to perk when your natural state is that an unknown something dreadful will shortly happen to an unknown someone in an unexpected somewhere.

I was three decades younger, and looked exhausted, my hair already escaping from its clip, my clothes clean but unpressed, my shoes not having seen polish since the accession of Queen Elizabeth. Elizabeth I.