Heretics Anonymous

don’t understand how the St. Clare’s library can ban so many books for being “inappropriate” when they have a whole row of Bibles. Harry Potter might be a wizard, but I’m sure he never hacked a woman to pieces.

-thousand-year-old undead Jewish mystics with strong opinions on divorce.

If I didn’t know he’d devoted his life to indoctrinating impressionable children and never getting laid, he’d almost look normal.

“Oh, honey,” she sighs. “Belgian isn’t a language.”