Wide Sargasso Sea

‘If béké say it foolishness, then it foolishness. Béké clever like the devil. More clever than God. Ain’t so? Now listen and I will tell you what to do.’

Half wit that the boy is, or pretends to be. I do not like what I have seen of this honourable gentleman. Stiff. Hard as a board and stupid as a foot, in my opinion, except where his own interests are concerned.’

He hates me now. I hear him every night walking up and down the veranda. Up and down. When he passes my door he says, “Goodnight, Bertha.” He never calls me Antoinette now. He has found out it was my mother’s name. “I hope you will sleep well, Bertha” – it cannot be worse,’ I said. ‘That one night he came I might sleep afterwards. I sleep so badly now. And I dream.’

Hush up,’ she said. ‘If the man don’t love you, I can’t make him love you.’

‘Yes you can, I know you can. That is what I wish and that is why I came here. You can make people love or hate. Or … or die,’ I said

But look me trouble, a rich white girl like you and more foolish than the rest. A man don’t treat you good, pick up your skirt and walk out. Do it and he come after you.’

All women, all colours, nothing but fools. Three children I have. One living in this world, each one a different father, but no husband, I thank my God. I keep my money. I don’t give it to no worthless man.’

I could see it reflected in the looking-glass. She was in bed and the girl Amélie was sweeping.

‘Finish

Still you don’t believe me? Then ask that devil of a man Richard Mason three questions and make him answer you. Is your wife’s mother shut away, a raging lunatic and worse besides? Dead or alive I do not know.

Was your wife’s brother an idiot from birth, though God mercifully take him early on?

Is your wife herself going the same way as her mother and all knowing it?

Then it seems to me that it is my Christian duty to warn the gentleman that she is no girl to marry with the bad blood she have from both sides. But they are white, I am coloured. They are rich, I am poor. As I think about these things they do it quick while you still weak with fever at the magistrate’s, before you can ask questions. If this is true or not you must know for yourself.

Why did you make me want to live? Why did you do that to me?’

‘Because I wished it. Isn’t that enough?’

‘Yes, it is enough. But if one day you didn’t wish it. What should I do then? Suppose you took this happiness away when I wasn’t looking …’