The Overthinking Cure

Proactive: I trust myself to engage with change productivity, and welcome the ways it can help me evolve.

Reactive: Change is scary and threatening, so I’d better hunker down and ward it off.

way to be more proactive is to get positively ruthless with the bad habit of complaining.

you complain, you are putting yourself in reactive mode

Reactive: Look at all these things and people and situations that aren’t the way I want them to be . . .

Proactive: What is the way that I want things to be, and how am I going to do make that happen?

Being proactive, however, doesn’t necessarily mean you always get your way; rather, it’s an orientation of mind and an attitude that says I can learn from mistakes.

If you catch yourself blaming someone, it’s time to get honest—are you expecting them to take charge of a problem that’s not really theirs to fix? If they are genuinely in the wrong (it happens!),

We can be more proactive when we stop daydreaming or thinking about “one day” or “if only”—again, we can take inspired action, right now, to empower ourselves.

My heart is beating fast > I must be nervous > I shouldn’t be nervous, I’ve done this a thousand times before > if I’m nervous there’s something wrong with me > and so on.
If you notice this happening, you can intercept and experiment with reframing sensations in different ways, thus creating some distance and bringing a calmer perspective on things.
Perhaps your heart is beating fast because you’re doing something new and exciting? Perhaps your heart is beating fast because you’re human and doing something a little nerve-wracking, and it’s all perfectly okay? To get this distance, however, requires we first slow down, notice what we’re doing, and then notice the places where we can make different choices.

“My heart’s beating really fast right now.”
“I feel disappointed that she said that.”
“I’m scared and I hate what’s happening.”
Importantly, just notice these things, without arguing, interpreting, analyzing, praising, or judging them. You don’t have to “accept” them either, just see that they’re there, and that’s that. Once you do, you can start to see that it’s your choice how you frame and interpret those neutral sensations.