Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. This work contains quotes from various books, films, TV shows and movies, including but not limited to Buffy the Vampire Slayer, obscure British comedies, and Milton.
Author’s Notes: This fanfiction is an AU: Alternate Universe. It was written in the year following Goblet of Fire and does not incorporate material from OOTP, HBP or JK Rowling’s fansite, all of which post- date it. It posits a universe in which Sirius is still alive, and so is Dumbledore; Fudge remains Minister of Magic, Luna Lovegood does not exist, Blaise Zabini is a girl, Ginny’s full name is Virginia, and so on.