They told me I should stay. But there was a machine somewhere. In the hospital, when he was… and I knew he was. I knew. Six fifteen. The time. When I looked. ‘Should’ve stayed.’ That’s what they said. They all said I should’ve… but I… it was a short walk. To the machine. Past all the rooms. All the people. All the same. Sick. Dying. One of them… looked at me. Must’ve heard my footsteps. He was expecting me. So I stopped and looked back. And he smiled. He smiled at me. Little old man in his bed. Thin. Withering away. Called me ‘Mary’. He was so happy to see his Mary. But why had I taken so long?
Beat.
Six thirty-two. ‘Shouldn’t’ve gone,’ they said. But I wanted a coffee. There was definitely a machine somewhere. Round the corner I saw a boy in a red jumper sat on the floor. All on his own. Playing with a toy car. Blue. Yellow stripes. He looked happy.
Beat.
Seven ten. My foot was asleep and the boy was gone. I’d sat down to watch him and must’ve… he was going then. ‘Stopped breathing at seven twenty,’ they said. I think that’s when I was getting coffee. Two pound fifty. From a machine! Seven thirty-five. When I got back. Without the coffee. Threw it down a sink on the way there. Didn’t taste right. He was still warm. They told me to kiss him goodbye so I did. His skin felt… different. They were all… all tears and collapsed faces. All around him. Like a king. A cold clammy king.
Pause.
Shame. I should never have thrown it away. All it needed was some sugar.