Bad Reputation

Vada Lauren Abbey was born from love, and we named her Vada after the character in the movie My Girl. Lauren after the guy who changed our lives.

Lo is smiling, and in a quiet beat, he catches my gaze and we exchange something pure and happy.

Something I think only guys like me and him can ever truly understand. How long it’s been and how far we’ve come. To peace around us and to peace with ourselves.

I nod.

He nods back.

“She’s so cute,” Willow swoons.

“That’s ‘cause she’s mostly you.”

“She’s half and half.”

I disagree. She’s like 80% cutie-patootie Willow. And 20% angsty me. I tell her, “We made a cutie.”

“We totally did.”

It’s not that I want another kid. It’s just that I’m so in love with the one we have.

“I just want her,” I realize out loud. It’s what I always feel. What I’ve always truly known.

“You’re my girl, Willow. I’m always going to take care of you.”

She’s dressed in a black shirt and sunflower overalls—the overall phase is purely Vada wanting to wear what Willow wears. Her blue-jean backpack is already filled and zipped.

“Did that hurt?”

“Yeah,” she says. “It’s okay though, Daddy. You can keep trying.”

If you look up angelic in the dictionary, the name Vada Lauren Abbey would be printed there. Whatever good thing Willow and I did in our lives, our collective banked luck has befallen upon our daughter. Yeah, I’m biased.

I’m her dad, but seriously, she is patient, kind, and thoughtful.

And she’s only three.

“Slightly unstable.” Garrison is grinning.

I am too.

“Brilliant and talented,” I remind him.

He holds her more protectively against his chest. “Not gonna lie, Willow, it sounds like us.”

Daisy is busy whispering something to Vada about her bestie waiting for her—and I know she means Winona. Our daughters will grow up together, and I couldn’t be happier to know Vada could possibly have an easy time making a friend. A life-long friend. One from birth.

“Come in,” I call out.

This time when the door opens, my jaw slowly drops. Tears brim again. “Daisy?”

She pops into the room like a sprightly fairy that rolled out of bed. Blonde hair uncombed, no makeup, and sweats. Yet, she still looks gorgeous. And so, so excited.

“You came?” My voice cracks. I’m crying. She’s one of the people that I really wanted to meet Vada. Probably more than anyone else. My best friend. But I never thought she’d leave Winona to drive to the hospital. I didn’t want to picture a scenario where she would in case of the crushed disappointment.

But this—it feels like so much.

“Of course I did,” she says like there was never a possibility where she wouldn’t. She beelines to the hospital bed and clasps my hand in hers. “This is one of the most important days of your life. You thought I would miss this?”

I feel silly thinking it now.

I wipe at my eyes. “Thank you,” I say, knowing how much it took for Daisy to leave her newborn.