What Every BODY Is Saying: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Speed Reading People

In my experience, I find the leg cleanser to be very significant because it occurs so quickly in reaction to a negative event. I have observed this action for years in cases when suspects are presented with damning evidence, such as pictures of a crime scene with which they are already familiar (guilty knowledge). This cleansing/pacifying behavior accomplishes two things at once. It dries sweaty palms and pacifies through tactile stroking. You can also see it when a seated couple is bothered or interrupted by an unwelcome intruder, or when someone is struggling to remember a name

When we are confident and comfortable, we spread out. When we are less secure, we tend to take up less space. In extreme circumstances, distressed people may fold their arms and legs into their own body, assuming an almost fetal position. Uncomfortable conversations and interviews can evoke a variety of withdrawn postures: arms that are intertwined like a pretzel and/or ankles that are locked in place, sometimes to the point of being almost painful to the observer. Look especially for dramatic changes in body position that could be indicative of deception, particularly when they occur concurrently with a specific change of topic.

book is about signs, too. When it comes to human behavior, there are basically two kinds of signs, verbal and nonverbal. All of us have been taught to look for and identify the verbal signs. By analogy, those are the ones that are located on poles, clearly visible as we drive down the streets of a strange city. Then there are the nonverbal signs, the ones that have always been there but that many of us have not learned to spot because we haven’t been trained to look for and identify signs located at ground level. What’s interesting is that once we learn to attend to and read nonverbal signs, our reactions will mirror that of my friend.

“Once I knew what to look for and where to look, the signs were obvious and unmistakable. I had no trouble finding my way.”

It is my hope that through an understanding of nonverbal behavior, you will achieve a deeper, more meaningful view of the world around you—able to hear and see the two languages, spoken and silent, that combine to present the full, rich tapestry of human experience in all of its delightful complexity. This is a goal well worth pursuing, and one that with effort I know you can achieve. You now possess something powerful. You possess knowledge that will enrich your interpersonal relationships for the rest of your life. Enjoy knowing what every body is saying, for to that end I have dedicated myself and this book.

palms-up or “rogatory” position usually indicates the person wants to be believed or wants to be accepted. It is not a dominant, confident display.

proach their captors. This behavior is also seen in individuals who say something when they want you to believe them. During a discussion, observe the person with whom you are speaking. When she makes a declarative statement, note whether her hands are palm up or palm down. During regular conversation in which ideas are being discussed and neither party is vehemently committed to a particular point, I expect to see both palm-up and palm-down displays.

Statements made palm down are more emphatic and more confident than statements made with hands palm up in the rogatory position.

truthful don’t have to plead to be believed; they make a statement and it stands.

10) Stress coming in and going out. Based on years of studying interviewee behavior, I have concluded that a person with guilty knowledge will present two distinct behavior patterns, in sequence, when asked a difficult question such as, “Did you ever go inside the home of Mr. Jones?” The first behavior will re-222 W H A T

E V E R Y B O D Y I S S A Y I N G

flect the stress experienced when hearing the question. The interviewee will subconsciously respond with various distancing behaviors including foot withdrawal (moving them away from the investigator); he may lean away or may tighten his jaw and lips. This will be followed by the second set of related behaviors, pacifying responses to the stress that may include signals such as neck touching, nose stroking, or neck massaging as he ponders the question or answer.

(11) Isolate the cause of the stress. Two behavior patterns in series—the stress indicators followed by pacifying behaviors—

have traditionally been erroneously associated with deception.

This is unfortunate, because these manifestations need to be explained more simply as what they are—indicators of stress and stress relief—not necessarily dishonesty. No doubt someone who is lying may display these same behaviors, but individuals who are nervous also show them. Occasionally I will hear someone say, “If people talk while touching their nose, they are lying.” It may be true that people who are deceptive touch their nose while speaking, but so do individuals who are honest but under stress. The nose touching is a pacifying behavior to relieve internal tension—regardless of the source of that discomfort. Even a retired FBI agent who is stopped for speeding with no legitimate explanation will touch his nose when pulled over (yes, I paid the ticket). My point is this.

Don’t be so hasty to assume deception when you see someone touching his or her nose. For everyone who does it while lying, you will find a hundred who do it out of habit to relieve stress.

(12) Pacifiers say so much. By helping us identify when a person is stressed, pacifying behaviors help us identify issues that need further focus and exploration. Through effective questioning we can both elicit and identify these pacifiers in any interpersonal interaction to achieve a better understanding of a person’s thoughts and intentions.

) Keep the person you are interviewing focused. Interviewers should keep in mind that many times when people are simply talking—when they are telling their side of the story—there will be fewer useful nonverbals performed than when the interviewer controls the scope of the topic. Pointed questions elicit behavioral manifestations that are useful in assessing a person’s honesty.

9) Chatter is not truth. One mistake made by both novice and experienced interviewers is the tendency to equate talking with truth. When interviewees are talking, we tend to believe them; when they are reserved, we assume they are lying. During conversation, people who provide an overwhelming DETECTING DECEPTION 221

BOX 58: IT’S ALL A LIE

I remember one case in which I interviewed a woman in Macon, Georgia.

For three days she voluntarily provided us with page after page of information. I really felt we were on to something when the interview was finally over, until it came time to corroborate what this woman had said. For over a year we investigated her claims (both in the United States and in Europe), but in the end, after expending significant effort and resources, we discovered that everything she had told us was a lie. She had provided us pages and pages of plausible lies, even implicating her innocent husband. Had I remembered that cooperation does not always equal truth, and had I scrutinized her more carefully, we would have been spared wasting a great deal of time and money. The information this woman had given sounded good and seemed plausible, but it was all trash. I wish I could say this incident happened to me early in my career, but it did not.

I am neither the first—nor will I be the last—interviewer to be bamboozled this way. Though some people naturally talk more than others, you should always be on the lookout for this kind of chatty ploy.

amount of information and detail about an event or situation may appear to be telling the truth; however, they may be presenting a fabricated smoke screen they hope will obfuscate the facts or lead the conversation in another direction. The truth is revealed not in the volume of material spoken but through the verification of facts provided by the speaker. Until the information is verified, it is self-reported and perhaps meaningless data (see box 58).

following is a list of twelve things I do—and the points I keep in mind—when I want to read pacifying nonverbals in interpersonal interactions. You might consider using a similar strategy when you interview or converse with others, be it a formal inquiry, a serious conversation with a family member, or an interaction with a business associate.

(1) Get a clear view. When I conduct interviews or interact with others, I don’t want anything blocking my total view of the person, as I don’t want to miss any pacifying behaviors. If, for example, the person pacifies by wiping his hands on his lap, I want to be able to see it—which is difficult if there is a desk in the way. Human resource personnel should be aware that the best way to interview is in a physically open space—with nothing blocking your view of the candidate—so you may fully observe the person you are interviewing.

(2) Expect some pacifying behaviors. A certain level of pacifying behavior is normal in everyday nonverbal displays; people do this to calm themselves. When my daughter was young, she would soothe herself to sleep by playing with her hair, curling the strands in her fingers, seemingly oblivious to the world. So I expect people to pacify more or less, throughout the day, just as I expect them to breathe, as they adapt to an ever-changing environment.

DETECTING DECEPTION 219

(3) Expect initial nervousness. Initial nervousness in an interview or serious conversation is normal, particularly when circumstances surrounding the meeting are stressful. For example, a father asking his son about his homework assignment will not be as stressful as asking the boy why he was expelled from school for disruptive behavior.

(4) Get the person with whom you’re interacting to relax first. As an interview, important meeting, or significant discussion progresses, eventually those involved should calm down and become more comfortable. In fact, a good interviewer will make sure this happens by taking time to let the person become more relaxed before asking questions or exploring topics that might be stressful.

(5) Establish a baseline. Once a person’s pacifying behaviors have decreased and stabilized to normal (for that person), the interviewer can use that pacifying level as a baseline for assessing future behavior.

6) Look for increased use of pacifiers. As the interview or conversation continues, you should be observant of pacifying behaviors and/or an increase (spike) in their frequency, particularly when they occur in response to a specific question or piece of information. Such an increase is a clue that something about the question or information has troubled the person pacifying, and that topic likely deserves further attention and focus. It is important to identify correctly the specific stimulus (whether a question, information, or event) that caused the pacifying response; otherwise you might draw the wrong conclusions or move the discussion in the wrong direction. For example, if during an employment interview the candidate starts to ventilate his shirt collar (a pacifier) when asked a certain question about his former position, that specific inquiry has caused sufficient stress that his brain is requiring pacification. This indicates the issue needs to be pursued further. The behavior does not necessarily mean that deception is involved, but simply that the topic is causing the interviewee stress.

220 W H A T

E V E R Y B O D Y I S S A Y I N G

(7) Ask, pause, and observe. Good interviewers, like good con-versationalists, do not machine gun questions by firing one right after the other in a staccato fashion. You will be hard-pressed to detect deception accurately if your impatience or impertinence antagonizes the person with whom you are speaking. Ask a question and then wait to observe all the reactions. Give the interviewee time to think and respond, and build in pregnant pauses to achieve this objective. Also, questions should be crafted in such a way as to elicit specific answers in order to better zero in on facts and fiction. The more specific the question, the more likely you are to elicit precise nonverbals, and now that you have better understanding of the meaning of subconscious actions, the more accurate your assessments will be. In law enforcement interviews, unfortunately, many false confessions have been obtained through sustained staccato-like questioning, which causes high stress and obfuscates nonverbal cues. We now know that innocent people will confess to crimes, and even give written statements, in order to terminate a stressful interview wherein pressure is applied (Kassin, 2006, 207–228). The same holds true for sons, daughters, spouses, friends, and employees when grilled by an overzealous person, be it a parent, husband, wife, companion, or boss.